Too… long… didn’t…. read……!

Well not really. He is a good storyteller – not so much a fantastic writer. Now I’m gonna get stoned by devotees for insulting the Great Grand Father of SF. But he certainly had a brilliant mind, even if his stories (in this book) are terribly misogynistic.

Don’t talk to me about the strong female characters, these strong female characters are Ayn Rand-esque (now I’m gonna get stoned by another camp) but not quite, um, normal human beings. Kind of plastic, if I may. Like K-Pop girls (ow, stones).

Alright, back to Nano… must hit 30k or DIE.

So I won last year cheatily, but I pledge to lose gracefully this time round if I do remotely come close to winning. The story is epic as usual but I haven’t lost my procrastination skills so good luck to myself, because I will definitely need it.

Oh, and if you’re doing Nanowrimo too, full props and Don’t Stop… Believin’… (also, stop watching Glee.)

So the grand old WSJ is being irritatingly prissy in this article, like they tend to do when they talk about anything that’s not finance, and about anyone less Republican or upper-upper-class white than they are (so here we refer to 99.9324% of the known planet).

But in any case, this contains the seed of an interesting argument.

The argument that a company should always work towards the good of its shareholders is nice but ultimately just an idea, almost impossible to verify.

The thought that companies don’t have to go out and make jobs, just because – that I do agree with, but one has to keep in mind that the well-being of a (large) company depends very much on the well being of its customers. It’s a big ol’ cycle, and economists know that well (or are supposed to, anyway).

Oh, and despite their overpriced drinks, I think Starbucks does have its heart (and shareholder-priorities) in the right place. They’ve got, for instance, mostly free Wi-Fi, which is a public service towards the greater good of mankind. And because their products are primarily discretionary goods (you can live without your daily venti triple-shot caramel latte, I swear), it makes perfect sense that they would want the economy to go back to the “Now Everyone Can Spend!” days of yore.

Ok so I’m done with the pontificating, now for the whinging: this writer is so full of crap that if he wasn’t quoting Friedman (bow) and Schultz (bow) and Mackey (bow) it really wouldn’t be an article at all, just a blatant display of a snotty gradeschooler thumbing his nose at that kid who lives down the street in that shabby old house.

… Obviously I’m not very good at insults.

Eek, I forgot to mention the other thing I thought of writing. Woolgathering on a Wealth Cap – remind me sometime.

So is Facebook implying that if I wanna get out, I need help?

Uh oh.

PS: To explain why I have to log out in the first place – I’ve got two Facebook accounts. I’m illegal. Shhh!

To avoid being boring and twittery, here’s a picture -

It’s a penguin, I swear.

I’m just like linking this.

For the tl;dr folks like me, the conclusion is to write simply.

People assume bombastic words mean sophistication, when what it tends to mean is sophistry.

(So I’m actually a moron.)

Anyhow, here’s my key points:

1) Idleness leads to revolution

2) To prevent revolution, eliminate idleness

3) Industry is the key to economic recovery

4) “Government-Man to the rescue!” is not the answer

Ok, so onwards to point one. Idleness. What is being idle? Being jobless is definitely a good indicator of it. Involuntary idleness is perhaps an even better descriptor. I read somewhere (totally reputable, though I can’t bother looking it up now) about the unemployment levels in Middle Eastern countries – and notably the unemployment among the young men. Everyone knows what’s been going on in the Middle East this last summer, so draw your own conclusions. The American way is the pursuit of happiness (etc etc but mainly happiness, k?); it gives purpose and prevents people from just sitting down and thinking along the lines of “Gosh, I’m really unhappy now. What can I do to change this? … Oh. Marx.” Notwithstanding the fact that communism really isn’t the path to bliss.

The next three points all follow one another. Unemployment is dangerous, not only to the unemployed but to those in power. So how to eliminate unemployment and rightly set the people on their road to, if not happiness, at least mild satisfaction? Three letters: SMB.

Small and medium-sized businesses.

Why, if you can’t get a job, go out there and make your own! It’s really as simple as that, but I suppose there’s really not much motivation in the land of SuperSizeMe where everything is on a mega scale. How could one person ever turn themselves into the likes of McDonalds, (32 thousand restaurants worldwide!), Facebook (800 million users and counting!), Coca-Cola (1.6 billion drinks.a.day.), or Goldman Sachs ($911 billion in assets….. *sob*)?

Still. Everything has its cycle, stuff gets made, grows, reaches its peak, declines and dies off. There’s a heck of a lot of “peaks” in America, and that’s great – it really is a service, not just to the country but to the world, that American giga-companies are doing well. But where is all the new stuff? Where is it coming from? From the look of things, it seems the making is happening in the BRIC countries while all the dying off is happening in the G8.

So last point: G-Man can’t really help you. Not when you’re b!tching about the staggering levels of government debt while at the same time whining about the student loans that are, like, really cramping your quality of life. Education bubble? Hah. Well it is certainly true that a degree is pretty expensive, especially without a publicly available, affordable higher education system in place. But comparing education to the housing bubble only reflects a poor understanding of the still-recent financial meltdown. Which silly European bank is queuing up to buy the triple-strained leavings of your multi-pre-repackaged student borrowings? I dunno, but if there are any, they really deserve another hard lesson.

So, back to the student loans. Er, well, loans are meant to be repaid, you know. What did you expect would happen if you couldn’t repay them? Some kind of loan forgiveness? That’s G-Man to the rescue. Same goes with credit card debt. Yes, yes, it sucks that you can’t get a job, but what I’m saying is go out and make your own. Work – do whatever it takes. Don’t sit around despairing and talking about your ninety nine percentages. What do you want, really? Think about it – you certainly have the time. Take your time, sit yourself down, and really consider what you want out of life. Then go out and get it.

Oh, of course it sucks not to have a job. It sucks not to have decently affordable healthcare too. It sucks to be in debt up to your neck without any end in sight. It sucks that in the famed land of plenty, there’s just not enough to go around. I don’t envy you any of that, not at all. It’s right to be angry, and certainly right to do something about it, although I do question the way you’re going about it.

What I do envy, though, is the fact you can gather in large groups without a permit.

And be hemmed in, by the police.

And be beaten, by the police.

And be pepper sprayed, by the police.

And be arrested, by (duh) the police.

Only a few matters left to go before you really get into the spirit of the thing  -

1) Be pummeled by water cannons (by the police).

2) Get a heart attack and die in the middle of the protest, with no aid (from the police).

3) Experience a twenty four hour road closure and a seven hour traffic jam thanks to roadblocks (by the police)

But really, I do envy the fact you guys can gather in large groups without a permit.

Here’s something to remember -

The police are controlled by (state or federal or whatev) government. The government is controlled by politicians, who are controlled by money (to fund their campaigns!!). Who owns the money again?

I would suggest exercising your collective political clout, but it doesn’t command much respect these days.

Frankly it would be better to get the economy going again. How, when you’re just one person against the 300 million? Money is like blood – if it ain’t flowing, you’re dead. Get the money moving – that’s the answer. If you don’t have a job, well, make your own. You’re supposed to be fecking educated, so you must be pretty smart. Be enterprising. Sell. Real goods – real industry – reality.

One of the problems with the financial system is that some genius can lose a billion dollars in a day, and get a million dollar bonus anyway. It’s just moving money around. Computers do that way better than people do. But it’s always a zero-sum game. Yes, money magically appears when banks make loans with the deposits they receive. But there is a limit – they can’t lend out more than they receive. Not even close.

Oh dear. This is getting too long. Anyway, a great opportunity in microcredit is brewing, methinks. Muhammad Yunus to the rescue!

No Uncyclopedia this time.

First things first – to properly define what Third World really is. LMGTFY.

Wow. Sure sounds like a shithole.

Perhaps Wikipedia has a less biased and offensive definition:

The term Third World arose during the Cold War to define countries that remained non-aligned with either capitalism and NATO (which along with its allies represented the First World), or communism and Asia(which along with its allies represented the Second World).

Non-aligned with capitalism? Malaysia? Excuse me, I just snorted my designer latte out my nose.

Sidetrack: these terms are in themselves a little annoying – first, second and third does imply hierarchy after all, as in gold, silver and bronze. Like as if these First World Countries are all mighty and superior in every way. It does contribute to a kind of love-hate feeling, I think, where the so called “Third World” thinks the “First World” is all arrogant and derisive and superior on the one hand; but on the other, would give its right leg (and arm and testicle) to become “First World”. And the “First World” might go all “oh, they are all savages over there, living in the trees and such” but most compassionately contribute to the eradication of polio, malaria and suchlike (thank you, Mr Gates). Nevertheless!

Where were we? Wiki delving reveals the original Third World concept to be more of a Cold War era geopolitical definition of non-alignment, that is, neither American (capitalists!) nor Soviet (commies! … I mean, socialists!). Still, the local definition seems to have more of a negative connotation closer to the euphemistic “Developing Nation” – which is really just a nice way to say “you don’t have it as good as us, nyah nyah nyah”.

But that’s not the point. Is Malaysia a Third World Country? Well, the key (Wikipedia) definition is “non-aligned with capitalism and communism”. Considering the fact that the South East Asia region is in fact one of the most important sea routes in the world (along with the Panama Canal), leaning a little too far to the “Blue” or the “Red” is actually a little risky. I mean, you don’t wanna fall off, not when the other side can swoop in to ‘liberate’ you if you’ve insulted their mommas. Still, we’ve got free markets and McDonalds aplenty, although there is a gentle whiff of Marx in the dirt-cheap education and general healthcare available to the public. And, of course, until recently, the less fragrant one party state. Oh, and price controls.

So, the answer. Within this definition, I would say… yes. But  methinks that’s not what the people who search for this stuff are looking for.

The more accurate question then is whether Malaysia is a developing country. Is Malaysia any better than Uganda and Botswana? There are people who will insist that it is, but I doubt little old me can change their minds. But who makes these definitions anyway? Wikipedia gives us the Human Development Index (HDI), which says that we’re actually doing pretty well – we’re on the level directly below “Developed Country” which I suppose does indicate something.

The calculation of the HDI is based on several key points: life expectancy, education and income.

On life expectancy – not too shabby. Theoretically we’re training bundles of young doctors so we can presume this will increase, unless all the young doctors head off to, say, Namibia (or the opposite thereof).

Education – even with the astounding quality of local public education, in terms of years of education I think we do pretty well. Anyway, I won’t elaborate on this much.

Income – ok, we fail. The pay is rather crap over here. It’s not actually about income; the key is purchasing power. Cheap food is cheap, yes. Although it’s also likely to give us diabetes and heart disease which obviously lowers life expectancy. But that’s about the only thing in this country that is easily afforded. Want a house? Want a *snort* car?  Though I won’t elaborate further on this either; this is better fodder for woolgathering on a later date.

This is really getting TL:DR, so just two more sentences to go, okay?

So, is Malaysia really Third World? Here and there, perhaps, but not as much as you might think.