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Encyclopedia Pathetica

June 28, 2011

And now that I’ve typed that, I have to google it. Excuse me for a moment.

Whoa, someone else has thought about it? Looks like I’m not the only lame-o in the world. Though I know that for a fact, it’s strangely gratifying to see real proof.

But wow, that is one cool website.

Alright, now to the point.

Been meaning to write something meaningful, but all the vague microthoughts that occur to me in the shower evaporate with the steam and floats out the wall-facing window.

Here’s one of them though – “How Much Do I Cost?”

It’s a little challenge to the mathematically inclined among you. Make a little Excel spreadsheet. Number it from 1 to *insert your age here*. In my case, it’s 22 (gasp! I am geriatric!). If you want to be more detailed, I recommend splitting it to another *insert your age x 12*.

So, make a guesstimate as to how much was spent on you (includes how much you spent too; unless you’ve been studying in the school of hard knocks, I really doubt your spending money came from an employer who wasn’t your parents) from the day you were born up to today. Break it down, the more categories the better.

How much did it cost to feed you at the age of one? Seven? Nineteen? How much was electricity? Your air conditioning? How much did your toys cost? (My books cost a hella lot of money, I can tell you that) What about transport? Price of oil has been ping-ponging upwards for the last century, as you should well know. And the proverbial piano off the seventh floor: education. Privately educated me will have a lot to throw in there.

Then, if you get what the time value of money means, inflate everything at, oh, 3.5% annual. Sum it all up. And think very carefully about this question: who the hell would pay for all this stuff?

Holy shit. I just put my words into action and guesstimated my cost-to-date to be just about RM785,000. I mean, I might have overestimated some bits, but I’m pretty sure the vice versa applies, so it probably evens out. So… Yeah… Right… And, uh…


Try it out. For serious kicks. Just try it out. I’ll even upload my worksheet – crudelifecosting. The orange stuff can be modified without much harm done, except to your previous ideas of self-worth.

I wonder if anyone I know apart from the confirmed one regular reader actually reads this stuff. Yeah, so if you read this, I dare you to try it out. And be honest.


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