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The Social Affairs

April 16, 2012

So, Social Networks. Truth be told, I rather loathe social networks and socialising in general. But like some 500 million people around the world, I’ve got a Facebook account. Like some 180 million people (exaggeration?), I’ve also got a Google+ account. And like 20 million people (guesstimate), I have an inactive Friendster account. Unlike numerous other millions, I haven’t got a MySpace (RIP) or Twitter (may you live long and prosper!), and I still don’t plan to.

Side note: Did anyone ever deactivate their Friendsters and MySpace? I don’t think people do that, the accounts just fall by the wayside, only sending you graymail every now and about  changes in management and other fun stuff. I’ve witnessed several Facebook deactivations; the profiles don’t go away. They never do. As many other greater tech writers have said, “YOU ARE THE PRODUCT”.

Still, we can’t help it, can we. Anyway. To the meat of the topic: How I feel about Facebook and Google+.

Facebook is like a spouse. (Or, with more poetry and no difference in meaning: Facebook is like my wife.) In the beginning, it was exhilarating. Fun. Edgy. Nobody knew about it, but everybody knew. I resisted heavily but couldn’t help it. I made an account. Other people got hooked by the games. For a while, so did I. Tetris and poker was my poison. Not tomato gardens and gangsta wars, thank goodness. As it is, it’s still a good medium of communication. But it is a walled garden and that is what kills the romance. Oh and all the cheating she does on me with third party advertisers. Like, blech.

Google+. A tempestuous affair. I want to stick with you, I really do, but I just can’t. Facebook, like all typical wives, holds the purse strings. And she Just. Won’t. Let. Go. Everyone I know would be lost. Only a few tech-savvy friends with proper judgment would stay with me (sorry guys, no offense) and I’d have to start all over again. New relationships, new friendships, new interface. Ah, that interface. Ah, those people. It’s not everywhere you can keep up with Mohamed Yunus, the Dalai Lama and Linus Torvalds all from one interface. Yesyes, there’s Twitter but Twitter is limited. Juvenile, even (imma get stoned by fanbois soon). Twitterers spout narcissistic gospel at you in punchy 132(?) character one-liners, all the while hashtagging themselves into a collective unconscious. (Circus sideshow: the stoning of the techwars inflamer. Come one, come all.)

Back on topic. All I’m trying to say is that Google+ has endless possibilities. It’s like standing on the beach and looking at the horizon. Except I haven’t got a boat.

Totally off topic: Is anyone as disturbed as I am over the overuse of “leal” in a certain famous American fantasy writer’s certain famous latest book? Leal service, leal lords, leal sandwiches and pancakes. Like, wtf? Crap, I said I’d stop using that acronym.

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